Lee Horton, Ph.D.
Counseling Psychologist
1355 Lynnfield Road
Suite 245 (Executive
Business Center)
Memphis, TN 38119
Contact me:
901-818-5450
horton@officememphis.com
Schedule an appointment
I've Changed...
and so Can You!
My Own Story and How You Can Profit From
What I've Learned
I'm a worrier. I worry about my career, my finances, my marriage and my children...amongst other things. There was a time when my anxiety made me so tense that it would rob me of my joy in life. I became so fixated on worrying about the future that I failed to enjoy the day at hand.
I still worry alot, but I've learned skills that have helped me to reduce my tension and more importantly increase my happiness as I go through life. I have learned two important lessons from my anxiety.
First, my goal can't be to seek comfort in this life. I must accept that life is challenging. Instead of seeking comfort, I must seek courage to face challenges while admiting my limitations in facing these challenges.
Second, I have to be aware of how my thoughts affect my mood. Every minute of every day we have thoughts about ourself. We weigh out our self-worth against a standard that we hold inside. For most of my life I held a standard that was so high that I couldn't meet it. This left me feeling bad about myself until I assessed my thinking. Now I realize that my thinking was largely based on what I didn't do versus what I accomplished. I still battle with self-criticism but I have learned to be more gentle on myself, as I am with others.
Shame or its sibling, pride can be a barrier to your reaching out for understanding and help in your battle with worry and tension in your life. But your thinking can be a bigger barrier. Have you thought:
•
I am a total failure.
I am a total failure.•My problems are just beginning; I am doomed to a pattern of failure.
My problems are just beginning; I am doomed to a pattern of failure.•My weaknesses now overshadow any strength I have shown in the past.
My weaknesses now overshadow any strength I have shown in the past.•Any previous success I have had in the past was simply due to luck.
Any previous success I have had in the past was simply due to luck.•I might as well accept that I am a failure. There is no use trying if you already know the outcome.
I might as well accept that I am a failure. There is no use trying if you already know the outcome.•I feel like a failure; I must be a failure.
I feel like a failure; I must be a failure.•If I was a successful in my career, as a parent, as a Christian, then I would not have problems.
If I was a successful in my career, as a parent, as a Christian, then I would not have problems.•Everything that has gone wrong in my life is due to my own mistakes; I have messed up everything.
Everything that has gone wrong in my life is due to my own mistakes; I have messed up everything.We all have an inner critic that judges whether we are living up to our own standards. Tensions arise from an overly harsh internal critic that makes unreasonable demands and sees only your shortcomings. Negative beliefs harm your view of yourself, your motivation and relationships with those who care for you.
You can learn to silence your inner critic and regain a positive view of yourself. Changing these beliefs is surprisingly easy once they have been brought into the light. I can provide you with tools to discover your view of yourself and to help you find joy in yourself. Join me in defeating the beliefs and behaviors that are holding you back from achieving your potential of a full, rich life.
